The Night my Heart Broke in Half

My oldest boy was not adjusting well to the change. He was very mad at me for taking him away from his friends and his work. He let us know. He was very moody and withdrawn. Even his siblings couldn't draw him out. To try to help him I allowed him to talk to his friends on my new cell phone. That was a big mistake. He really wanted to go to a bachelor party of his friend. I was trying everything I could think of to let him go.  Over and over and over again we all said you can not tell anyone where we are. Then one day I was putting things away and the phone rang and it was my dh. He asked to speak with my oldest boy. I said he wasn't available. Then he asked to speak with my oldest daughter. In my shock I handed it to her. Thankfully she is strong and the Lord and could handle it. He asked her where we were. She said I'm not going to tell you. He asked her do you want to ever see me again. She said I don't know. Then he said no it had to be a yes or a no and she said no I never want to see you again. Then the conversation ended.
Well after that we were on full alert and I cancelled the trip to the party for my son. There was just no way I would risk him being snabbed at the party. Then my mom took us to the pool in her hotel. My son didn't want to go swimming. So he stayed in the room. Non of us even thought about the fact he had his ipod and would have free hotel wifi. Eventually he came down and talked and had fun with his brothers and sisters. Then we went home. I allowed the older children to start Indiana Jones movie. And put the littles down for bed. My oldest didn't watch and was upstairs. He asked to use the phone at one point to call his buddy. I allowed it. Now looking back I know he was acting weird. But I didn't catch it at the time.When I went up he had moved his air mattress beside the window and was looking out.  I asked why he had done that and he said he was cold and wanted to sleep by the heater vent. Then I noticed the little boys room window was open and closed it. I now know he was using both to watch.
I was in the kitchen cleaning and I heard one of my other sons yell where are you going? Then I heard the door slam and then the little brother rush to the door and look out. He came running in. My brother just left. I ran to the porch and saw nothing. And yelled and yelled his name. Then my son said he saw him run out the door and then he saw him getting into our van. My dh and I had exact matching vans so I suspected it was him. Then I ran to the back yard and yelled and yelled some more. Then we realized his doggy was missing also. My heart dropped and I realized he was gone. He had run away to his Father.
I called the police and my mom. The police came and said there was absolutely nothing they could do. I had not gotten a restraining order because it would say the county I was in and I did not want him to know where we were. My mom came and we cried. My cousins came and we weeped. I had lost my son.
He  got his way he went to his party that night. And that was the night my heart broke. I had lost my son. He was going back to the man who had abused him over and over. He was choosing friends and job over the decisions of 2 adults. And put 8 other peoples lives in jeopardy. I love him dearly but am still sad by his decision.