Holidays and Special Occasions

Holidays were horrible. Most toward the end I didn't even try anymore.

Birthdays. He refused to come in the room and sing Happy Birthday so I canceled that tradition. The children wouldn't get candles to blow out because it always made them sad that their Father wouldn't come into the room.

Christmas' were the worst. I think in 21 years their were 2 good happy Christmas mornings.  The last one was one of them.  Most were filled with sadness. We were yelled at for caring more about the gifts than about Christ's birth. Extended family was not to be a part of holidays. I finally said that holidays were for us only because it was easier than dealing with the anger. I now know he was jealous of me and my relationships with them.  One Christmas after we had opened all our gifts. And were just relaxing he decided that we had to give everything away and donate everything to Goodwill. Absolutely everything the children and I had to bag up into bags for him to go donate away. It even included homemade gifts from his family and a gift certificate to Walmart.  There was no sane thought process in it. It was all just crazy out of no where thinking. That year family came to visit so it probably stemmed from jealousy again.   He also never accepted anything we gave him. Always it was returned. If we gave cash it was spent back on us for a meal or something.  We HATED getting him gifts because it was a impossible task.