Getting the strength to stand on my own didn't come quickly. For many years I felt if I left I would be destitute. I would not be able to provide for my family. Then slowly with the purchase of photography equipment. And the practicing and studying I was actually able to make some money. And then with time I realized maybe I could do this. I didn't need to stay just for the money. We didn't need to be abused anymore. I would be able to stand on my own to legs and use the talents that God has given me and make some kind of income. This gave me the strength to walk away that day. Am I doing well with my business now? NO! But every step of the way I have been taken care of. Our needs have been met and even some of our wants! Yes sometimes I've taken my eyes from that and gotten overwhelmed. That even happened yesterday. When I realized I had given up everything to be a wife and mother and now I am only worth minimum wage if I go back to work. But one of my best friends reminded me that I'm not worth minimum wage I am priceless! To just keep the gears in my head and I will figure out something! And to never look back again. Chin up! Forge ahead! Kick some ass!
So here I am forging ahead! Protected by God and I will kick some ass!
This is something I have struggled with for years. Even if you are in a stable relationship, the feeling that you are nothing in the eyes of the world can be devastating if you allow it to get to you.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is not in the world's estimation of what we are worth, but in who we are in Christ. God thought we were worth the price of His son, and Christ willingly paid that price. Because of that, we can be so much more than anything a college degree or a good job could make us.
I am learning to be comfortable with who I am and where I am in life. I still have dreams of earning that degree and doing more. I still struggle with what I know people assume about me because I lack a degree. It's both fun and infuriating to see the surprise in someone's eyes when they realize I am not what they expected. I know that it is God that supplies my needs and decides my worth, though. I just need to align my thinking to that and not worry about what anyone else thinks.
We really do have so much of our lives ahead of us, and we should not be discouraged to find ourselves where we are now. You have so many talents. I know you will find a way to use them to help provide for yourself and your family, and you will find something you love to do, whether it is photography or something else. Life is an exciting adventure, and you have a fresh start on it. I can't wait to see what you will do!